Tilney1 is speaking of his fears regarding Benefit changes and the stress having a bank account holds for him, money and dealing with it often triggers his Schizotypal and Obsessive behaviour to extremes.
(*The footage and stills, audio will appear re-edited in the finished documentary, for now this is merely a very rough mix.)
Small Town Inertia : Market Town : Tilney1 : Isolation
“My sleep pattern got fucked up after I was sectioned and put in hospital. I just can’t switch my mind off and the loneliness gets to me.”
Tilney1’s days, a reflection of the selected memories that play with constant repetition within his mind are day upon day the same. He wakes alone from a night spent alone after another day of solitude.
Visits from support workers in recent months have tapered off and his C.P.N (Community Psychiatric Nurse) is only scheduled to visit once every two weeks. The corrosive qualities of isolation are powerful for Tilney1 who’s mind is ever alight with ideas, thoughts, dreams, recollections, art and desires with no one to ever share them with.
There’s nothing to do in Market Town. Primarily it’s filled with pubs, charity shops, hairdressers and bookies. The drop in mental health group arts group where I first documented him in 2009 has been closed for years, no other opportunities have taken it’s place and the few people he’d managed to communicate with, share a bond with over the last few months have moved away so the bulk of Tilney1’s week is spent alone.
The constant presence of his memories, the intense illusions, auditory or other hallucinations and delusion-like ideas makes meeting and taking that first tentative step in speaking with new people or initiating new relationships incredibly hard to the point of being impossible. The legion of Tilney1’s symptoms often command his dialogue resulting in his only being able to communicate these select moments and connections. People can’t see past this, they can’t see him or have any desire to look beyond this wall of obsessions and union of random events to discover the very real person behind it.
Over time he’s become a face in Market Town but one to many people often inseparable from his illness. He’s taunted, a sly version of barely veiled bullying “They call me Scrambled egg weirdo, froot loop… like I’m mad and some people go on and on about being a scrounger. Being called these things, especially when you have a very sensitive mind can hurt, it really hurts. It hasn’t happened for a while now but I’ll never forget when these things were said to me”
Isolation has the effect of turning the volume up on his symptoms, especially the Quasi psychotic episodes and is their perfect breeding ground. Isolation is a weather front swollen with the rains of depression. Tilney1’s fear, paranoia, delusions and desperation become trapped in this perfect storm resulting most often in his telephoning the crisis helpline of the city mental hospital for someone, anyone to talk with though this is always tempered by the fear and terror of potential hospitalization.