The 4 Seconds Strike – Psy.chat">Psychology of Seduction
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You see a girl you want to meet, in an approachable situation. You have no more than 4 seconds to move and start approaching.
As a man, you are programmed to know right away if a girl is someone you want to approach – so 4 seconds is more than enough time to get moving. Just start walking toward her and as you do if you catch her eye, smile, say hi.
When I see a girl I want to approach, in my mind I go, “One, two, three, forward…” And start moving toward her. I’m a man, so I can deal with it. So are you, and so can you.
In the beginning, I never knew what I would say or do, but I just dove in. This began to work for me, every time. It will work for you, too.
I make this the condition of the rule: If I haven’t moved in 4 seconds, I’m not permitted to approach her anymore.
With that as a condition, if I don’t approach I usually go back to the mental beating in my mind.
1) Beating myself up for not approaching, and
2) Wondering if she was at least available.
What’s the point of having this rule and this condition?
The main one is conditioning yourself to act.
If it’s hard for you to get the confidence to approach – then your conditioning is most likely to not act. The 4-seconds strike is going to help you reverse this conditioning.
The only difference between the chump who does nothing and the real man who makes a move is just that simple. That little extra is you start walking over there.
The second reason is that if you wait over 4 seconds it lets those automatic brain-bubbles start talking you out of it. You don’t need time to start thinking of reasons not to pick up. Over-thinking is bad.
Simply think, “She looks hot. Let’s see if she qualifies”
One, two, three forward.
Make eye contact. Say Hi.
There is no time to think about it.
Catch. Shoot. Act.
Maybe it goes in, maybe it doesn’t. But acting instead of over-thinking gives you a better chance of success. The more you do it, the better you will become.
If you want to get good, you have to simply just approach. You’re going to have to miss some shots. But that’s all right – that’s the way we learn. You’ll start making plenty of shots, too, trust me. And probably a lot faster than you think.
The third reason for the 4-seconds strike is this: I had decided I was going to start approaching girls I wanted to meet, and if I had a rule that if I broke it would force me to erase them from that day’s list – it was actually a punishment – and one I quickly stopped administering to myself.
You have to make a deal with yourself that you keep. It’s a small change in the way you think about the case. If I haven’t struck in 4 seconds, forget it. I’m not permitted to approach her anymore.
In the chapter on Fear and Rejection, we analyzed the way our minds and bodies conspire to reward us for retreating. We’ve learned that we feel better mentally and physically once we’ve had some time to create motives for not approaching her, and then justify our inaction. Feeling better is our reward.
Now there’s no reward, but a punishment for retreating, which is: That girl is off your list.
So our rules on Approach look like this:
1. Guys make the approach.
2. When in doubt, approach. (the 4-second strike)
And as soon as you follow those rules, you’ll rock.
But what happens when you say “Hi” and she says “Hi” and now you’re standing there?
If it’s your first approach, and nothing else happens – that’s all right. Damn, you’ve just done something great, though. You went over, you said Hi.
By the way, if this happens – you tell her Hi and she says Hi back, and you’re tongue-tied – just say, “I just wanted to say Hello. Have a great day.”
There is nothing wrong with that. Actually, everything is right with that.
• Make eye contact.
• Say Hi.
• Exit with “have a great day”.
What you’ve done is the foundation of approaching a girl successfully.
You noticed a girl you wanted, you smiled and then engaged her in conversation. And even if it was brief, it is light years ahead of not doing anything at all.
Believe me, this is tremendous. It gets easier from here. Basically, you’ve approached, and you’ve done what all the Masters are able to do.
But that’s not all they can do. Masters are capable of engaging a girl. Getting a girl to react to you positively and speaking with her is what is called engaging her.
And technically, you’ve engaged her in conversation by saying, “Have a great day”. Start getting as many of these “engagements” in as you can.